The Camino at present seems like a distant dream to me. I work, sat behind a computer most of the day, playing with accounts and spreadsheets.
I live in Ireland and the weather has been awful for the last while. Rain is all we seem to get. I pine for the hot days I spent walking across the mesita – the days when I had to stop and find a tree to rest under while the sun was high. Many pilgrims would have finished their day by then – but I was always slow out of the hostel in the morning and I took it easy walking each day – I never walked with the fear of not having somewhere to stay that night – and it never happened to me.
I look at spreadsheet and after a while my head can take no more – I loved the clear head that I enjoyed when I walked every day – 20 or 30 km a day really seems to clear all the rubbish out of my head and replace it with a peace that is there less often in my normal daily life.
The Camino took me somewhere – not just to Santiago. I learned to write this web site and then have started on others – action – reaction.
Have a good weekend.
Related posts:
- Who am I?
- Thinking…
- Orisson to Roncesvalles
- St Jean Pied de Port
- I Built a Cage For Myself – What Happened?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Your comment about Camino blues reminds me of the Camino listserve, which posted similar thoughts about a week ago. The responses to that particular subject were very interesting and numerous. It seems that many of us who have walked all or part of the Camino feel a “haunting” when it comes to the Camino. I’ve never posted a single message to any blog (although I do enjoy reading them), but the Camino is something that digs deep into me and I can’t help but want to communicate with others that have similar feelings. I walked from Ponferrada to Santiago almost two years ago and did so with my mother (who had never carried a backpack in her life). She did wonderful and the experience walking together is something we both cherish. But unlike her, I’m constantly pulled back. This spring I’ll go back to Spain (along with my mom) and walk it again.
I think what makes the draw so powerful for me is that it’s not one thing; it’s multiple things that pull me in. It’s the physical aspect of walking and pushing yourself day after day, hill after hill, even when you might not feel like walking another 5 miles. I love that. I believe in the tight connection between physical exertion and mental clarity (in other words I believe with physical exertion to that extent comes faith). For me in those moments of feeling tired and sore I look to a higher power for inspiration. Walking in of itself is simple–no spreadsheets, no emails, no accounting, etc.–just walking, step after step, mile after mile, breath after breath. The whole process takes us back to the simple and important things in life. I love that–simplicity and focus. After being in that space it’s hard to come back to a keyboard and traffic and all that other stuff. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t dream of being back on the path. You’re right, it’s a peaceful journey.
Yes, I agree. being back behind a desk after being free is not great fun. But it reminds me of my dream of a house in the country side, clean fresh air, quietness, and lots of space…
Meanwhile like most others I sit here and work towards that end.
Buen Camino.