Camino regrets?

[Deborah]

Does anyone ever regret walking/attempting to walk the Camino? I have never heard anyone say it was a dumb thing to do.

[BHinSanDiego]

I'm going to go out on a limb here in regards to you never have heard of someone regretting walking the Camino. You won't find anyone here that thinks that. My question is, what prompted you to ask this question? Are you looking for specifics on problems that people encountered on their Camino? Yes, people do have problems, but that is the beauty of the Camino, it teaches us to persevere for the reward of finishing a defining moment in many peoples lives.

[Deborah]

Hi BH
Its just a thought that struck me. By nature, people tend to defend their decisions and things they do. Sometimes it takes a great deal of honesty to say you made a mistake.... and talk about it. El Camino is one of the few things I can think of where I have never heard a person who has experienced participation say 'No...dont do it'. Several people think I am slightly cracked for planning this trip but then they have never done it. On the other hand I know 3 people who have walked and it was one of the best experiences of their lives. And certainly, as you say, nobody here ever says it was the wrong thing to do. I have no doubt I am going to have my fair share of problems, particularly THE FEET, but I am not thinking I am making a mistake at all. I sometimes just wonder if there is an image that peregrinos wish to present to the world ... of El Camino being wonderful etc. I guess I am about to find out for myself and I am really really excited about that.

[HuskyNerd]

I think everyone who chooses the Camino finds in it what they were looking for and more. I think those who don't choose the Camino but still walk find frustration.

In 2008 I convinced my wife to walk the last 200 kms of the Camino with me. I'd already walked 600 kms and she hadn't had time to train. We realized she was in misery nearly each step of the way, likely with plantar fasciitis. She made it to Santiago averaging only 12 kms/day and vowed upon arrival she'd never do it again. She's had two chances since then and has kept her promise! My wife's willingness to do the Camino was based on my dream, not hers. She felt it was a waste of a good vacation.

So, yes, it's possible not to love the Camino!

[grayland]

Actually, I have seen posts in other places from people who had quit early and were very disappointed at the experience.
They seemed to be people who had no idea of what to expect and were shocked at the experience. I recall that they were upset at the albergues and not ready for the physical effort.
All in all I think they just did not do any research and certainly never found the forums.

[BHinSanDiego]

Yes Deborah it does take a very honest person to admit they made a mistake. That being said, one cannot go into walking the Camino blindly, not doing their homework or not having any idea what to expect as Grayland stated. The Camino isn't easy, it takes energy, effort, sweat, the ability to suffer to name just a few things, as the old saying goes, "anything worthwhile isn't easy". The only people that I've discouraged doing the Camino were ones that want to bring a young child on the Camino, not discouraging the adult themselves but just bringing children. These were children in the 4 to 5 year old range, children that age have no idea what the Camino is, only what their parents tell them. I too have had people say "that's crazy' when I tell them I walked 500 miles, but that's completely different than having a regret since they didn't do it. The people that have a desire to bring children and those that quit early and were disappointed by the experience, now that would be an interesting question to have answered, that is "what were (or are) you expecting when you decided to walk the Camino?" I guess the best advise I can give you is, if you have the dream and desire to walk the Camino do it, don't let someone who doesn't understand your dream or the Camino discourage it! It sounds like you have a realistic picture of what the Camino is and the problems you may encounter. And you've come to the right place as far as that's concerned, get the insight and shared knowledge of those that have gone before you on how to avoid or at least attempt to avoid the problems you may encounter. So don't worry about that others may think you're crazy for taking this on, look at it this way, when you return with your Compostela and stories of your joys and heartaches in attaining it I think it will be a safe bet that they will admire you and be somewhat envious of what you've accomplished. Oh BTW, if you have any specific questions feel free to ask!
Ultreya,
Barry

[Covey]

I have often met those who feel a little disappointed when they arrive in Santiago, but I suspect the disappointment is because their expectations were too high in the first place. Often people are seeking answers to the questions in their life and were hoping that the Camino would answer their questions and solve their problems.

My personal view is that the Camino itself will not give you the answers you are seeking, but it will give you time and space to think things through, away from family and friends who help shape your "normal" life at home, and in an arena where nobody will judge you because most are coping with their own problems and thoughts.

Some walk the Way hoping for that "Burning Bush Moment" and the Charlton Heston voice telling you what to do and which path to take in life. Most, I suspect, go home disappointed!

A Polish girl was walking the Camino Frances two years ago and joined our "family" and when I asked why she was walking the Camino she said she was engaged to a guy back in Poland but was unsure whether to marry him, and was walking the Camino to clear her mind and work out what to do in life. Whilst eating a BigMac in Leon (down by the river opposite the bus station!!) I asked her if she had made up her mind yet what to do to which question she shrugged her shoulders and said "not yet". I asked "do you love him" and she thought about that at which point I said that if she had to think whether she loved him or not, then it was better not to get married.

What I was surprised about when I met her a couple of hours later with the rest of the "family" was the big smile on her face and her revelation that she had phoned the fiancé and broken off the engagement and was now happy that a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Now, I don't claim to have Charlton Heston's voice and am not generally regarded as a pyromaniac, but talking to a Camino friend who was not family with all the distractions that brings, seemed to give her the clarity that eluded her at home, and she went on to enjoy the rest of her Camino.

[Covey]

I should add that we have never blocked anyone for posting on this Forum where they were unhappy at their Camino experience. If there are few critical posts, it is probably because we tend to deal with the "how" and leave the "why" to others!

I am probably the most negative person posting on this Forum and frequently make reference to the indifferent food, basic living in albergues etc etc. I do so because I believe it to be a true reflection of life on the trail.

There are some very nice albergues along the Camino Frances, but there are lots of very basic ones. One only had to stay in the old official albergue (wooden huts and the biggest fire hazard I have ever seen!!) in the park at Burgos to enjoy the worst of what albergues had to offer. The new Burgos albergue is very nice and comfortable.

The private albergues generally offer better accommodation than the official albergues, but many private albergues are becoming expensive with a bunk bed at €8-10 and in Zubiri, a single bed in a room with 8 other pilgrims was €16.

I have enjoyed many excellent Pilgrim Menus along the trail over the years, but they have been far outnumbered by bloody awful meals dished up to pilgrims because the establishment knows we will never return! My general rule is "if you want good food, cook it yourself" or prepare a meal with your Camino Family.

Ask yourself why you never see the Spanish eating the Pilgrim Menu!!!!

[Deborah]

Thanks to all of you for very straight honest answers. I think this is one real attraction the Camino has for me. I have this idea that I will meet all types of people but I will find plenty who are 'real'. By that I mean I wont know or care if they are heads of state or factory workers. I have this idea that you connect with the real person , their soul if you like, and it is not very often in life that this really happens. Just to be ambling along the countryside with other people all heading in the same direction on tracks and paths where so many thousands have gone before over so many centuries. To sit down at a table with people from all over the world, different languages, different backgrounds and share and enjoy the most basic of lifes necessity is so appealing. Coveys last post has almost shattered my dream but Covey Im pretty good at overlooking the bad bits. I just want to see where the Camino takes me. How will I react to weeks of having so little. How flexible can I really be? I dont even know if I can do it but I want to try. I know I am going to have loads of grief from my feet. (Yesterday my latest pack adjustment was 4!! pairs of shoes ... 1 goretex boots, 1 joggers, 1 walking sandals, 1 flipflops). I think it is the honesty that attracts me, no bullshit, no crap, no pretending. Just the real things in life. And Im really interested to know how I will feel about it when I come home. Who knows? Life is pretty interesting.
I have been reading so much on this forum for quite a while now and picked up so much practical advice. Thankyou all. Technology is great sometimes.
Debbie

Oh and Sandy...I feel for your wife.....plantar fasciitis is pretty damned horrible but it does get better.

[Covey]

Deborah.......I am sorry if I nearly shattered your dream, but the general aim of this Forum is to help aspiring Pilgrims prepare for their Great Adventure, and to be prepared, you need knowledge of what you are going to face.

The Camino Frances is not a gentle weekend ramble through beautiful countryside where you end each day with a soothing hot bath, before tucking in to a gourmet meal and then your appointment with a comfortable soft mattress covered in 800 stitch Egyptian cotton sheets in some genial country inn followed by a leisurely breakfast before contemplating what is for Sunday lunch!!

If you stay in albergues then the trick is to pick a bunk where the breeze is, and where the toilet doors are not. Often there are 20-30 beds in a room, and in some places over 75. I treat myself in Burgos and Leon to a couple of nights in a decent hotel as reward for some of the less salubrious places we sleep. You can just stay in small hotels each night but the penalty is spending €30-€35 a night instead of €5-€10. You can avoid the Pilgrim Menu served up in most places and go for a normal menu and have some reasonable grub, but you will be spending €25 for your meal instead of €10. Multiply the difference by 35 days and the cost of walking the Camino can be a lot more than many can afford.

A couple of years ago many would walk the Camino Frances on a budget of €20 per day!

As long as you are aware of how things are, then you can plan accordingly. I would rather people said it was much better than expected, than try and kid them that everything was wonderful and there were no problems to be aware of.

[BHinSanDiego]

Hi again Deborah, I really like this thread, it's bringing a new perspective to the site, a little change which is nice. It sounds like you have a good idea of what type of people you will meet. On the Camino everyone is equal with the others that walk, the cyclists are equal with the other cyclists and those riding horses and burros are equal in that capacity too. It's about as simple as life can be, that is, you wake up, prepare to walk, walk, eat, arrive at the alburgue, rest and eat again, sleep and do it again for about 30 days. You will connect with the real person, looking back I can't remember meeting anyone that I felt was not being honest with me, just good friends who in our on way became a temporary family, if you end like I did you'll have about a group of 20 or so people that you'll interact with on a day to day basis or a twice or three times a week basis at the least. The beauty of the Camino I believe is if you want to walk with someone there is someone who wants to walk with you, if you or they desire to walk alone for the day that is possible too and it is done without the others feeling rejected or insulted because they understand the need for alone time because that too is a reason many come to the Camino, that is for the time to be alone for reflect on their lives and clear ones thoughts, Coveys story about the Polish girl being the perfect example. Our Camino is what we make it, go into it with an open mind, a free spirit and a sense of discovery, not only about the Camino but about yourself, if you find answers that's great if not that's OK too.
Ultreya,
Barry

[Deborah]

'gentle weekend ramble through beautiful countryside where you end each day with a soothing hot bath, before tucking in to a gourmet meal and then your appointment with a comfortable soft mattress covered in 800 stitch Egyptian cotton sheets in some genial country inn followed by a leisurely breakfast before contemplating what is for Sunday lunch!!' ................



Oooooohh! Wheres that again? Perhaps I dont want to walk El Camino after all.

[Covey]

I have only met one person who I regarded as totally bogus along the Way and that was in 2008.

There was this guy from Canada, mid 30's, good looking and very personable. There were about 10 of us sitting around a table at Hospital de Obriga having some refreshment, when suddenly Mr Canada announced that God had spoken to him and told him to go forth on the Camino and select himself a suitable female to be his wife.

Whilst waiting for the ladies present to swoon in anticipation of being selected, the older males present tried to detect any evidence of a wind up or hint of a joke, and having detected none, decided to contemplate the matter further from the safe distance of a bar further down the road.

As a Founder Member and Life President of the Grumpy Buggers Club of London, and a Camino Grandfather, my views were sought by the other males present as to whether Mr Canada was the real deal, or was the "God spoke to me" merely an exercise in exciting the more weak knee'd ladies who might be walking on our stretch of the Camino. One also made a mental note to avoid staying at the same albergue in case it was catching!!

One kept bumping in to ladies all the way to Santiago who had heard from Mr Canada that God said....... but to the best of my knowledge, he left Santiago still single as he kept emailing one lady who had the sense to join the Family I was with, saying that he was still looking!!

As a conversation piece it was more interesting than discussing the bed bug situation in an albergue, or contemplating my companions feet as one strapped on the Compeed, but it did make us laugh!

You meet all sorts on the road to Santiago!

[joe]

I read this in John Brierleys guidebook, he quoted it from William Ward:

"To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

I just thought it might have been appropriate to this thread, if you never took risks you would never regret anything, or gain anything for that matter. I think the only people who regret their Camino are the people who expected too much from it, the ones who wanted answers to all of their problems and didn't find them... the Camino isn't about giving you answers, but rather a way of pointing you in the right direction to find the answers yourself. It's like God, he won't ever show you the right path but he will give us signs, it is entirely up to us to follow those signs to get to the right path, I think the Camino will be similar to that.

[unadara]

Joe
Well said, a person close to me spoke recently about guilt and regrets for not doing something years ago. I replied it is not too late to try and make amends, take the first step, see what happens. In the Camino we are taking the first steps, let's follow the signs we receive.
Thanks
Una