Life after the camino

[Maur]

I'm wondering about returning to "life" after the camino. I am fortunate to have been given permission to take the month of Sept off ( I work in a high school in the USA and so have the whole summer off). My title is "Campus Minister" altho' I am not an ordained minister...I am a married woman with ( grown) children. I will go back to a particularly busy time of the year. How do people re-orient to the busyness of regular schedules, etc? Any suggestions?

[Covey]

With great difficulty!!

For weeks you will have walked with total freedom. Nobody tells you what to do or when and the only constant in your life on the Camino is the little yellow arrows which point the Way. Each day starts as a blank sheet of paper and there is nobody around who is going to fill it up except you, and then only if you want to.

When you get back, you will find it difficult to concentrate on the future for a few weeks because your mind is always going back to the Way and the experiences you have enjoyed (one tends to forget about the bad bit like blisters!!)

You will try explaining to your friends about all your experiences, but you will get the feeling that they are not really getting what you are feeling. You will wonder why you have all the detritus of life around you when you managed quite happily with the 10kgs on your back for weeks.

Your mind will drift off at all sorts of unexpected moments of the simple pleasures of sharing a glass of something with a friend who you might have walked with for a few days, but then had not seen for a couple of days.

The Camino will probably be the nearest you have been to your real self for a very long time.

[Lipka149]

Ha !

Well, Maur ... everything Covey says is so, so true. To add to it from my own experience ...

Understand that you will have changed ... the world you return to will still be the same. I believe you understand this intuitively. The question then becomes ... will the world re-orient me, or will I re-orient the world I go back to ? I found that I could not change the things I went back to very much. A little, but not all that much. What really happened though, is that people saw a change in me. I smiled more, worried less; shared more deeply, listened with more empathy; gave more, expected less. It took me some time to come down from the high, and this seems to be the case for many, many caminantes. What I have found however, is that things settle down after a year or so, and the world is indeed a better place. Might just be my perception, but I think it really is. Can't explain it much better than that unless I write a book. Ha !

Some practical advice then ...

Your feet will hurt for awhile. Don't let the fashion police dictate your choice of shoes !

Your eating habits (and the things you eat) will be different. Resist the temptation to go back to ... the old way.

Sleep. Make time for this wonderfully restorative gift.

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Please, please ... when you return ... create a new tread "Maur's Camino" and tell us all about it ! Again, from personal experience, I know that sharing what you experienced with those that have been there is a terrific way of keeping your own metanoia alive and growing. Rest assured, I will be looking forward to reading it !

All the best -

[emelle]

I agree completely with Covey and Alan. When I returned, about 3 weeks ago, after a month of walking, not only did my feet hurt, but my whole body rebelled at suddenly not walking 20k/day and all my muscles began to contract. Once I returned to a moderate amount of daily walking, my body was happier and I felt I was able to maintain a good level of fitness.

For the first week home, I could barely think with any level of complexity. After a month of only walking, eating, and sleeping, and being immersed in the beautiful Spanish landscape, simple activities like grocery shopping or gardening were suddenly overwhelming.

Even more disconcerting, I would get teary or cry unexpectedly when I thought of the rolling fields of grain or the stone walls or the forests or the poppies, or when I thought about some of the wonderful friends I made along the way. I think part of my sadness was my fear of losing those memories and those relationships, as well as the frustration of not being able to describe or explain my experience to anyone who hadn't walked the Camino. I felt like I was in mourning for my Camino experience.

Now, after being home for three weeks, I enjoy sharing my photos with friends, reading Camino blogs, thinking about when I'll be able to return to complete the stages that I missed, and getting back very gradually into familiar daily routines. I'm feeling much happier and more settled. Covey said it perfectly: 'The Camino will probably be the nearest you have been to your real self for a very long time.' Best of luck with your Camino and being with your real self, and I'm looking forward to reading about how you deal with your own return to 'life' afterward.

[Maur]

Thanks guys - those are wise words and I appreciate your saying them. I feel like, in some way, I am already on the camino. I think about it so much! As I'm clearing stuff out of my house, I think, "I'm going to have everything I need on my back for 6 weeks - do I REALLY need this?" So it's already helping me be more discerning about my life.

[Leslie]

We don't get much feedback here on the forum but some people don't get the same feeling from the Camino as others.

Us here love it, but I have read some info from others where they did not enjoy it at all. I suspose I just want things to stay in the now...

[Lipka149]

We don't get much feedback here on the forum but some people don't get the same feeling from the Camino as others.

Us here love it, but I have read some info from others where they did not enjoy it at all. I suspose I just want things to stay in the now...

Hmmm ... could you stretch this out a little bit for us, Leslie ? Not sure what you mean by not much feedback or keeping it in the now.

Agree that the Camino is unique to each of us, some having a good experience and some having a bad one. Given the physical exertion, mental challenge, and time commitment, does anyone really ENJOY the Camino ?

I think you have touched on the heart of this thread. Looking forward to your thoughts in more detail !

[emelle]

...does anyone really ENJOY the Camino ?

You better believe it! It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life (and I've had quite a few!). The beauty of the land, the interesting and caring people, and the ability to walk and walk and walk were amazing. The annoyances (snorers, cold water, no toilet paper, etc.) were minor compared to the bigger picture. It was such an honour to have had that experience for a whole month of my life. Yes, many many people ENJOY (to put it mildly!) the Camino!

[Leslie]

I have been told by quite a few people, one being my other half who I met on the Camino Frances, that I was the grumpiest pilgrim they had ever met. And I don't disagree. I don't like people much and the Camino Frances really tested me in ways I could not have thought of before going.

But really what I was getting at above was the excitement before heading off. I suppose I get a bit concerned that some are going to have expectations that are in many ways influenced by people telling them how great it is.

I have read some posts on the net where people expected before they went to feel part of something and they didn't - and in some way they felt even more let down because of the way they had built themselves up before they went. Not everyone gets it.

I feel privileged that I knew almost nothing about the Camino when I went first. For me it would have been really difficult if I had read lots about how people got on so well with others and made friends and if that hadn't happened to me. Grumpy as I am, and was, I walked with lots of people and keep in touch with some. I loved it - but I did not go with any life changing expectations - I was just having a cheap holiday while being an old student.

I just wanted to balance the opinion in this thread.

[BHinSanDiego]

My one year anniversary of finishing my Camino is coming up next week, the 23rd, not a day goes by that it doesn't come into my thoughts, especially this time of year and reflecting back and thinking of where I was this day last year. Portomarin I believe, probably need to get out my log to be correct though. LOL

On a lighter note, when I got back oftentimes I would look at a distant hill and do the math in my head of how long it would take me to walk to the the top!

[Lipka149]

I suppose I get a bit concerned that some are going to have expectations that are in many ways influenced by people telling them how great it is.
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Not everyone gets it.
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I just wanted to balance the opinion in this thread.

Ahh ... now I see what you mean. Thanks for explaining.

In my case, the true value of the Camino has been the aftermath. The lead up to it was marred by anxiety, uncertainty and doubt. First glitch was a missed connection here in the states and a flight into Manchester instead of London. This threw our timetable off by a day right off the bat and sucked up 250 euros in unanticipated bus fares and hotel costs. The albergue in SJPP was full when we arrived. Supper that night was unappealing and breakfast before the start of my much anticipated Camino was worse. I had no food packed for the walk over the mountains.

El Camino de Santiago for Alan was ... work. Was there laughter and friendship and beauty and joy along the Way ? Most certainly ! But there were tears and arguments and ruin and despair as well. Perhaps even more so.

Walking the Camino was boring. Putting one foot after the other, with only my thoughts to occupy me, and the constant throbbing of my right knee and shifting my pack yet again to keep it from hurting in the same place all the time and oh my, is that a blister I feel forming ? The snoring in albergues drove me crazy some nights. Bathroom privacy was minimal. And the food ! Don't they have real BUTTER in Spain ???

I think I get what you are saying, Leslie. When it comes right down to it, the rewards of the Camino are uncertain, but the effort and pain and fatigue are for sure. And those rewards may not be in proportion to what one invests.

Substitute "marriage" or "parenting" or "my career" for the word Camino in the above sentence and it reads just as truthfully.

That is what I learned after it was all done.

The reward ? An absolute certainty that as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I will get there. And that I won't be the only one on the road. And there is great comfort in that.

Again, thanks for keeping it real, Leslie.

[Covey]

I find there are different "types" of Pilgrims along the way, some of which are great fun, and others I would go a long way to avoid. The terminology which follows is purely my personal view!

The Religious Ones: They tend to be the overt "Christians" who want everybody to know they are spiritual/Christian/religious and dress accordingly often in robes which do not quite denote any particular "brand" of religion and festoon themselves in crosses of various sizes. They profess to go to Mass whenever there is one and always sit at the front. Probably best avoided!!

The Catholics:: Includes Priests and Nuns and those who are deeply immersed in their Faith. I walked with a guy three years ago for two days before he told me he was a Priest from the UK. He said that it looked good on a Priests CV to have walked one of the main Catholic pilgrimage routes, although I am sure that was not his only reason for doing it. The Priests are usually very good company but I have found the Nuns a little heavy going.

The Shirley MacLaine Wannabees: Having read the book they are usually very confused about which planet they are on! They seem to see God in everything and want to tell you about it. Best avoided, especially at meal times!!

The Seekers: Those who are seeking the meaning of life or answers to all their problems. Usually solitary females, with a lot of problems and hang ups and who are hoping that one day there will be a clap of thunder and a voice from the Burning Bush will tell them what to do with their life. Sadly you often bump into them again in Santiago looking sad because there was no Burning Bush and they are going back home without any of their problems being solved by someone else.

Because It's There: Probably 50% of Pilgrims are walking their Camino because they have heard of it from the TV or friends and their brain has remembered it and one day they suddenly think "I have the time, and it is time for me" The thought of a long distance walk, which is safe to do, in a civilised country, in the warmth but where there is some infrastructure along the Way, tugs at the soul which is looking for some "me time".

The Quiet Ones: These Pilgrims are those who walk their Camino quietly and would never tell a soul why they are there. They enjoy their space and occasional company but do not want to be a member of a fixed Camino Family, but you might walk with them for an hour or half a day and be none the wiser who or what they were.

The Young Ones: Usually filling in the Gap Year with something they have heard about as a physical challenge. Spend a lot of their time trying to work out why drinking all night and walking all day in the sun is difficult. They are also trying to cope with the fact that us Recycled Teenagers (the over 60's) seem to be able to keep up with them and suffer far less physical damage. Being told by a 60+ year old Pilgrim that they need to pace themselves is not good for their self esteem!!! Usually very good fun to be with!

You learn quickly on the Camino!

Me: I walk the Camino because it is there, is a physical challenge and to prove to myself that at the age of 63, I am not ready yet to be consigned to my rocking chair. My first Camino experience was walking Sarria to Santiago with my son who had started at Roncesvalles. When we got to Santiago James said to me "How was your Camino-Lite Dad!" That did it and there and then I swore to be in St Jean the following year and to walk the Meseta which James had to miss out because of time pressure. As a Methodist I always go to the Pilgrim Mass in Santiago, but that is the sum total of my "churchifying"

The full Camino Frances is tough on all age groups but you quickly settle in and learn the rules about pacing yourself and listening to what your body is telling you. The scenery has not changed for each of the 5 years I have walked the Camino Frances, and neither really do the people. We all start out hoping that the bits of our body will hold together long enough to get to Santiago, and we all secretly dread having to go home early because of injury.

The main thing is we can be who we really are. Nobody is really interested in who or what you are at home, it is all about who you are, there and then. "By their deeds, ye shall know them"

Do I enjoy the Camino? I love the challenge, but having done it before I know whats coming which makes it easier. I enjoy the way people of all races and creeds bond together without the need of social props to define who or what you are. I really enjoy the friends I have made along the way and have great fun going off to reunions around Europe or hosting them in London.

I get very annoyed when I see Pilgrims being ripped off by local businesses along the Way, and where they charge Pilgrims more for food and drink than they charge the locals. I get tired of being served crap food for the Pilgrim Menu just because the owners know we rarely complain and are not coming back again. Ask yourself how often you see a Spaniard eating the Pilgrim Menu.

I did not enjoy the Camino Frances last year. Last year was a Holy Year and record numbers were expected. They did come for the Sarria to Santiago 100km stage, but not for the rest of the Camino Frances. Everybody was in a terrible hurry to get to the next stop in case they could not get a bed. Nobody sat and chatted, they were in a hurry. Everybody was out of the Albergue by 6am in case they did not get a bed so they arrived at their chosen Albergue, discovered it was half empty and spent the afternoon and evening sleeping ready to get up at 6am and start all over again. The Camino Frances last year appeared to be just a race against time, and to me personally, was not enjoyable. I am sure many or most who walked the Camino Frances last year thoroughly enjoyed it but compared to other years, it was not so good for me.

This year I am off to walk the Camino Portuguese on 1st August, so we shall see what we shall see.

[Leslie]

ah, covey, you can always be relied on to lighten my mood.
Cheers

[joe]

I´m a mix of coveys stereotypes, i´m doing it because i saw a movie... but i also wanted the physical challenge and some good experiences! Altough i´m young i dont drink everynight, but have walked with a few who do, and then they moan all day about how hungover they are.... if i get hungover i just take ibuprofen and walk it off. However i am surprised that the old ones can keep up! I walked 120km in 3 days (about 40 a day) and each day i saw the same old japanese couple!! At first i was sure that they must have gotten the bus or a taxi but then he told me differently... unbelievable!

[Covey]

The young often make the mistake of underestimating us Recycled Teenagers!

[grayland]

The "old Japanese couple" was probably about 40. Joe just can't get used to those old people getting around without help.

[ClaireB]

I´d have to say I´m also a bit of a mixture of these steroetypes!
I did it because I read a book (not Shirley´s) and because it´s there and a challenge. I was also hoping to find something special along the way but not anything specific - I just find being in nature is enough for me and that walking a path that has been walked for hundreds of years by thousands of people before me was a very special thing. That being said I did have my thunder-clap moment; not so much telling me what to do with my life (I think that´s a little too much to expect) just that I was doing ok!

The greatest piece of wisdom I gained from walking the Camino is that "Santiago will always be there", sounds simple I know but so true and so applicable to my life! I was mostly happy to be going my own pace and being passed by people 3+ times my age but after I heard that it hit home and I took each day in my stride, as slow or fast as it was and didn´t care any more. I gave up early on on the idea of having a Camino family, firstly because I was only going to be walking for a few days, secondly because I was only doing between 15-20km per day and thirdly because a lot of people had already found their families and I couldn´t stay in the albergues every single night because of my health. Then when I gave up on the idea I found them

Sure there were bad days, I had to have a rest day in Melide half way through as one of my blisters got rather infected but I never wanted to stop. I plan to go back and do the whole Camino Frances in maybe 4 years when I finish my next lot of study and even the stories of people´s horror days wont deter me!

by the way Joe, a friend of mine did the last 65km from Palas de Rei to Santiago in one day and he´s 69 (crazy!!)- then he was complaining to me how he had been feeling dizzy for a few days afterwards!! He just got in the rythm and kept going, not a distance I ever plan to do in one day!

[tomtom]

This is the best thread I've read thus far. Can't wait to begin our Camino. My son's university decision a week away.